Deep questions to ask your partner
The kind that get past small talk and into who they really are.
Small talk is easy. Real talk takes a better question. These are built to open the door to the things you both mean to say but rarely do.
They run from who they really are to the ones that take a little courage. There are no wrong answers here, only closer ones.
Deep / About the future
If money stopped mattering tomorrow, what would you do with your days?
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About who they really are
- 1What do you think about when you can't sleep?
- 2When do you feel most like yourself?
- 3What part of you do you hope never changes?
- 4What are you quietly really good at?
- 5What have you been thinking about a lot lately but not saying out loud?
- 6What do people misunderstand about you?
- 7What are you more sensitive about than you let on?
- 8When was the last time you surprised yourself?
- 9What compliment do you never know how to accept?
- 10What do you believe that most people around you don't?
- 11What does your ideal ordinary Tuesday look like?
- 12What would you do with a whole day completely alone?
About us
- 13When did you know you liked me?
- 14What is your favorite memory of us that I might not expect?
- 15What do we do better than any couple you know?
- 16What is one tiny thing I do that you love and never mention?
- 17When do you feel closest to me?
- 18What is something you want us to do more of?
- 19What was your first impression of me, honestly?
- 20What song sounds like us to you?
- 21What have I taught you without meaning to?
- 22What do you look forward to most in an ordinary week with me?
- 23If we could relive one day together, which one would you pick?
- 24What made you sure about me?
About their past
- 25What is your happiest childhood memory?
- 26Who was your first crush, and what were they like?
- 27What did you need to hear more often growing up?
- 28Which family tradition do you want to keep, and which should end with you?
- 29What were you like at fifteen?
- 30What is the hardest thing you have ever had to do?
- 31Which friendship shaped you the most?
- 32What did your parents get right?
- 33What small moment from your past do you think about more than you should?
- 34What did you want to be when you were little, and when did that change?
- 35What is the best advice anyone ever gave you?
- 36What would you tell your younger self about love?
About the future
- 37What does your dream life look like in ten years, honestly?
- 38What do you want to do before you die?
- 39What are you most excited about right now?
- 40What scares you about the future?
- 41If money stopped mattering tomorrow, what would you do with your days?
- 42Where in the world do you still want to wake up?
- 43What kind of old person do you want to be?
- 44What skill do you still want to learn?
- 45What would you regret never trying?
- 46What does making it mean to you?
- 47What do you hope stays exactly the same in five years?
- 48What is one adventure you want us to have while we still can?
About love itself
- 49What does love mean to you now that it didn't used to?
- 50How did you learn what love looks like?
- 51What makes you feel most loved?
- 52Do you think love is mostly a feeling or mostly a choice?
- 53What is the most loving thing anyone has ever done for you?
- 54What do movies get wrong about love?
- 55How do you want to be comforted when you are sad?
- 56What small everyday thing says I love you louder than the words?
- 57Which relationship in your life taught you the most about love?
- 58How has your idea of a perfect partner changed over the years?
- 59When in your life have you felt truly understood?
- 60What do you think keeps two people together for fifty years?
The ones that take courage
- 61What is something you have never told anyone?
- 62What do you miss that you don't talk about?
- 63What are you afraid I will find out about you?
- 64When have I hurt you without realizing it?
- 65What do you need from me that you have been too polite to ask for?
- 66What is your biggest fear about us?
- 67What are you still forgiving yourself for?
- 68When did you last cry, and what was it really about?
- 69What part of your life feels heaviest right now?
- 70If we ever grew apart, what do you think would cause it?
- 71What do you pretend not to care about but do?
- 72What question do you wish I would ask you?
